Life as an at Home Mom

by FoxxyLadie on Nov.03, 2009, under IRL

If one more person makes a rude comment to me about how they believe I have it easy for being an at home mom/wife, I'm going to shove my fist down their throat. I've had my fair share of difficult jobs. I've worked as an assembly line worker for Rubbermaid where you have to be quick and on your feet... working 12 hour shifts at a time. I worked as a maid for the Holiday Inn scrubbing god knows what off the walls, cleaning up after people's disgusting drug habits, and midnight joy rides. I worked on a greenhouse plantation (40+ greenhouses) where my job was to label every plant/shrub/tree that was thrown in my direction, most of which had thorns that i had to wrap my arms in or around, which left me with a few nasty scars. Last but not least, before becoming a mother, I worked as a pharmacy tech for Walgreens where my job was to fill prescriptions and interact with people and their insurance companies. These jobs were all difficult and stressful in their own ways, but nothing has been harder on me then the job I have now.

Every job requires a certain amount of responsibility and a certain amount of time and care, but when you're a parent, you don't have a time card, you don't have a weekend off. Your day is spent tending to their needs and their calls and with a three year old with a 50 word vocabulary and an 8 month old, everything is a guessing game. They can only tell you what they are needing at the time with a cry, a whine or a grunt. Everything around them is brand new and they explore all of these new things first by using their mouth. It doesn't matter what it is... a rock, a bug, a shoe... it all goes straight into their mouth. Then there's the diaper changing and the potty training... neither of which would be so bad if you didn't get the occasional accident on the floor, or the diaper that somehow managed to stay completely untouched while the rest of your baby seems to be covered from head to toe in baby poo. You also have the teething, the occasional boo boo, and then, of course, you have the responsibility to teach them everything the world has to offer, and to prepare them for life on their own, all the while trying to keep them safe and secure, making them feel loved and wanted, making them feel special and a part of something truly amazing.

It's up to me to make sure they grow up to be the best person they can be. Whatever it may be, whoever they become... its up to me to make sure they get there and that they are happy.

If you want to believe that your job is more difficult... thats fine. All I ask is that you keep these opinions to yourself. I'm tired of rude people trying to make me feel worthless. My life means something to my girls and that's all that matters. If the only thing I ever accomplish in my life is raising these two girls to be happy with who they are, then I can live with that.

Yup... so kiss my ass!!

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6 Comments for this entry

James (justabaldguy)
November 3rd, 2009 on 3:48 pm
Great post Erika, and you let 'em have it easy! You left out a ton of other duties.

This is yet another area where our culture is backwards compared to the rest of the world: the at home dad! I understand that some people still can't understand why one would want to be an at home mom, but at home dad? They look at you like you're lazy. We're catching up on the differences between women and men in most work places but now I have more in common with other moms than guys my age...
Jim (txshurricane)
November 3rd, 2009 on 3:59 pm
My wife is a full-time nurse and still keeps our 2,600-sq-ft house clean and 18-mo-old daughter taken care of, for the most part (excluding daycare, of course). She wishes she could be an at-home mom so that she won't have to work so hard.

I guess it depends on your point of view. From a retail or restaurant job to an at-home mom may be a step up in stress and hard work, but there are worse things. Easy, no. Easier, sure.
smurph
November 3rd, 2009 on 4:31 pm
@James: You're actually not the only at-home dad I know. My old boss when I was in college stays home while his wife teaches (can't remember what age).

I think having a parent home with the kids is invaluable. I know it's stressful for Erika but that's why she gets messages every night .

You're doing a great job babe, and I really appreciate it. Don't let everyone give you shit <3
Foxxyladie
November 3rd, 2009 on 4:51 pm
Thanks, James!

Jim- I understand that your wife is probably stressed and over-worked with being a mom and having a nursing job. I understand things could be worse for me. What I am getting at is that its no picnic being an at home mom/dad. Its a full time job in itself and it doesnt make things any easier when your constantly having people criticize you for being able to or wanting to raise your children instead of sending them to a daycare. Most of all what I am trying to say is that I am not worthless for being an at home mom and that I'm tired of people acting like its a competition.
Jim (txshurricane)
November 4th, 2009 on 12:03 pm
I'm surprised that after two kids, something like that would get to you so bad.
FoxxyLadie
November 4th, 2009 on 12:12 pm
I know...this is the one topic that gets to me the most. I think its just that in life everyone wants to know they have a purpose and its frustrating when rude people throw rude comments in your face about you being worthless.

I hope my last comment didnt make you feel like I was attacking you personally. Tell your wife I think its great what she does and to hang in there!