We played a match of Social Big Team – Neutral Assault against a team of eight level 45-50 generals/brigadiers last night. We got slaughtered. I have a message for them:

You are lame. Plain and simple.

If you get a kick out of joining up with eight equally lame friends and exploiting extremely unfair flaws in a map so the other team instantly dies after spawning for 15 minutes straight during an objective game, you need to see a shrink. There is something wrong with you if you think that is fun. You could have won the game in a couple minutes by picking up the bomb and planting it in our base a few times. I even would have forgiven you for T-bagging us a few times. I don’t understand why you would want to put your balls anywhere near another man’s face but that’s at least a little more normal. But no, you carried on slaughtering us as we spawned until we left after seven minutes. I’m not sure why we attempted to put up with it that long but that’s not the point. The point is, SEEK HELP.

On a better note, while waiting for one of the next matches to start, one of the kids on the other team felt he needed to share that he figured out how to identify noobs…

You want to know how to tell if someone is a noob? If their weapon of destruction is the battle rifle, they’re a total noob.

Right… We then slaughtered their team 100-68. The funny part is four of them had BR as their tool of destruction. It’s really silly to label a weapon as a noob weapon. Obviously it is a good weapon and players do well with it, so why would someone pass up a good weapon for an inferior one? I think that kid just sucks.

I can’t wait for Halo 3 ODST and Borderlands. Not only because they’re both kick ass games, they’ll give us a break from the obnoxious kids that play Halo 3. More on those games soon.

Game with the Lame Generals
Game with the Noobs

 Eric is a software engineer and father of two, who's hobbies include video games, open source software, and just being a geek. Read more from this author