Dear Serious Sam,

You’re coming to XBL Arcade, so I should be ecstatic right? After all, you’re one of my all-time favorite co-op shooters. They don’t get much better than you, when looking for an over-the-top shooter that is insanely fun. But, alas, Sam, you broke my heart with this news because while you are coming to my favorite platform with the new Serious Engine 3, improved graphics, and 4 player co-op goodness, you forgot about split screen! The old you wouldn’t have done this. You even had split screen on PC. PC!! I can count the number of split screen, co-op, PC games I’ve owned on one hand (and probably have fingers to spare) and you’re one of them! So why would you omit this legendary feature on a console where split screen really thrives?

Sam, I say this with great regret, even though you’re a mere $15 (1200 MS Points), I’m not going to purchase you on XBLA until you can prove to me you’re still worth it. In case you haven’t noticed, I’m married to a gamer, she likes playing shooters and I think she’d love you. But without split screen, we’re just not having it. I’m sorry, Sam. I guess this is goodbye until the other new Serious Sam title comes out, but since you’re built on the same Serious Engine 3, I’m not keeping my hopes up for split screen.

Missing You,

smurph